Heartache and promises

I made a promise to Bobby to love him always, no matter what. For me, so far, it's been incredibly easy to fulfil that promise. I have never faultered, never waivered, never questionned, never doubted. I just have this heart that is so full of love that it might explode!

But I also made a promise to protect him. Protect him from harm, from hurt, from anything unpleasant. It breaks my heart a little bit that I can not fulfill that promise. Last week Bobby had his 12 month jabs; 4 needles (yes 4!!!) in his legs. What's worse was that I didn't go with him as I was working so my Mum took him. I felt terrible! I was consumed by guilt that day, frantically texting Mum to see how he was. Thankfully my Mum is amazing and took photos of Bobby on the swings and enjoying his day with her after the jabs so all seemed to be OK, but it can make him feel pretty rough for 2 weeks afterwards so he's been extra cuddly lately.

He's also teething really badly. I actually think there's a molar on it's way through as he couldn't get his thumb any further back to munch on!!! It must be so painful for him!

Then to top it off we fell up the stairs. I lost my footing whilst holding Bobby and we fell forwards. Of course I couldn't put my hands out to break the fall as I was holding Bobby so his head slammed into the edge of a step and it was the worst possible timing as we'd just had the carpet pulled up. Oh my God did he scream, and how I cried! What a horribly hideous day! We went straight to A&E and I still cried as I rocked him, how useless I was at keeping my second promise!

But it wasn't all heartache over the week. We had some pretty fabulous times too especially going to 2 birthday parties on Sunday (one was 1-3pm and the other 3-5pm - couldn't have timed it better if we'd planned them ourselves!) Bobby is pretty oblivious to other children at this stage - but does love dogs!! And he did find a random wooden garden toy that he played with on repeat over and over again.

We also enjoyed a lovely day in Bewdley with Bobby's Nanny Neen. Mum and I sat and had a cuppa whilst he climbed a hill, and then rolled down it. To us, it would literally be 2 steps, but to him it must have seemed so steep. We had a chuckle as he tried to crawl down it - his little legs had to move so fast so that he didn't face plant! For me, these are the best times with my son. The times that we just find joy in simplicty. Right there with a cuppa, and a hill. And although I can't promise to protect him, I can promise him that he will always be my world and I'll do my very best for him.